A to Z: I is for Intimidation

Warning! Warning! Text post ahead!

This is going to be a feels heavy text post. Namely because I don't have any products that start with I (not yet, anways). 

This is going to be about intimidation. Fear. And how it can hold you back from doing what you really want to do.

Now I could go on for days about fear. I have anxiety disorder, and while I'm learning to get it under control, it does sort of cripple some of my life. Something I've never done before, even if it sounds like lots of fun? Nope. Not a chance. Spending time with new people without a person I already no? Ugh. Sounds awful. 

But today, I'm just going to limit this talk to the beauty industry. The world of makeup, and how absolutely, utterly terrifying it can be. 

You see, when you're battling anxiety, it can be tough to walk up to a woman at a makeup counter and ask for help. You know it'll help, but it's embarrassing to need help. Not to mention, she looks like a pro. Her contouring is perfect, her mascara flawless, her blush blended seamlessly into the apples of her cheeks. Surely, she won't want to talk to someone like you, who showed up with absolutely no makeup on. (Fun fact: always go makeup shopping barefaced. That way you know that the product will look good on you no matter what.)

And what about when you want to try something new, but you know you won't be good at it, so you don't even try? Like me and that Eyeko Eyeliner I reviewed a month or so back. I still haven't touched it. I'm scared that I'm just going to mess up and look like a goofball.

But here's a secret: So what? 

Makeup isn't permanent. It's not a tattoo. Or a scar. It can be washed off. Redone. Sure, it might take some time and effort, but in the end. there's absolutely no reason to be scared of makeup. 

It took me a long time to come to grips with that little fact. It took me years to be able to shop in the makeup section without feeling like a loser. Like a child wanting to buy her first lipstick. 

It's scary. And it's tough. I'm not going to be able to tell you that it's any but. The beauty industry is full of these airbrushed models and if we don't look like them, we're not good enough. Our eyeliner isn't straight enough. Our lipstick isn't quite the right color. Our contouring is nonexistent. 

But in the end, you just have to stand up and brush it all off. Despite the pounding of your heart. Even with the eyes of Drew Barrymore and Zoey Deschanel bearing down on you from those ads. 

Cause against it all, what really matters is what makes you happy. Period. End of story. 

And who knows, maybe one day I'll get over my fear of applying eyeliner. 

Until then, I'll take little steps, like painting my toe nails fluorescent green. Or perusing Sephora even those the sales people always seem to be judging me. 

Hopefully, you'll keep going, too. Even when you're scared. Or confused. Or intimidated. Cause in the end, your happiness is what matters most.

Thanks for reading!

Old Polish Review: Zoya Shawn Ombre Manicure

Today is going to be an old polish review from my Tumblr, but it's pertinent to today's story (I'm a creative writer at heart, so there're going to be a lot of stories).



That right there is my first ever ombre sponge manicure.

The base is Zoya Shawn, a delightful forest green creme. This polish color was one of the first I bought from Zoya, and it's what got me addicted to their brand. The formula is smooth and perfect and self leveling. The color is rich. I got tons of compliments on this color whenever I went out to run errands. People were amazed at how distinctive it was.

Then, I added to the style of the manicure by putting drops of China Glaze Champagne Bubbles on a makeup sponge and dabbing it onto my tips. It created an excellent effect that would be great for the holidays, or St. Patrick's Day, or really any other time (because it's just that pretty).

This manicure was really a big part of me stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something new. And you know where I learned it?

The internet.

I'm here to tell you that while the internet can be full of mean weirdos with nothing to do but offend other people, there are high points as well. I saw this style of manicure on Pinterest and saw how easy it was. It seemed a lot better for me to handle than the drops-of-polish-on-paper-and-then-sponge style. Which, by the way, I still haven't mastered. At all. It always blends into one awful color.

This, however, was fast and simple and something that I have repeated over and over again with different color combinations.

The internet is your friend for trying new things. It really is. Because when it comes down to it, there's probably someone out there who has done what you want to do and made a video/wrote a tutorial about it. And following someone's instructions is easier than going wildly into the great beyond with no navigation system whatsoever.

So, go find a tutorial on something you're interested in. Recreate it. See if you like it. If you do, CONGRATULATIONS! You've just took one step beyond your beauty bubble. If you don't, then at least you tried and you still stepped outside of your comfort zone. No matter what, you're more knowledgeable than you were before, and knowledge is the enemy of fear!

Thanks for reading!